How Do I Overcome Insecurity?

Being insecure is the feeling of believing that you are not good enough. This can cause you to question everything around you as being too good to be true. You can overcome insecurity by understanding the value of your worth and being confident that everything in your life will be fine.

Insecurity can lead to a deep depression where you are afraid to try new things or put yourself out there because you are certain you will find a way to ruin it. This can lead to loneliness and can make it hard to find friends as people like those who like themselves. Overcoming insecurity can mean giving yourself advice that you would give to others in your shoes. For example, you could have a friend who is on the way to a job interview feeling like too much of a failure to believe they will get the job. If that friend was asking you for help in that situation, you would probably remind them of why they would be a perfect fit for the job and that the strength they exhibit on a daily basis will show during the interview. Shifting the perspective may help you listen to you own advice.

It may also be helpful to make a list of everything that you are afraid of about yourself. Write down your worries and what makes you think that you cannot accomplish anything. Read over this list and think of which of these fears are rational or irrational. Think of why you may feel this way about yourself whether it is because your parents never made you feel worthy, you have been bullied before, or you are constantly comparing your success to others. Think of the fears that you can overcome one day and how you plan on doing that. You may realize that your fears can be simple enough to solve and others that may take a lot of time.

Instead of focusing so hard on all of your failures, embarrassing moments, or any other time when you have felt bad about yourself, think of your accomplishments. Think of all of the compliments that you have received over the years from your loved ones. You should also remember all of the times that you have won something, all of the challenges that you have overcome that would be hard for others to do, the friends that you have made, or even bringing out laughter in your friends. When you think of all of your life’s greatest moments, you will discover any inner strength in yourself. You can even keep a success journal with you to write down every moment that you have accomplished something, read it over, and think of how lucky you really are.

You should look at both sides of the coin in every situation you are in. Think of what the worst possible thing in the world could happen and the best thing that can happen as a result of your choices. For example, you could be going on a date with someone new and constantly questioning whether it is right to meet this man or woman. Think that the worst that can happen is that you or the other person say the wrong thing or that you both do not have a fun time with each other. You could also think that the best thing that can come of this is you found someone with great romantic chemistry and you will be in each other’s lives for a very long time. By already picturing in your head the worst case scenario, you are drawing up an exaggeration of a moment that might not happen. The odds are that your fears will not come true.

It has probably happened to you where you say that you are a loser, a failure, that you hate yourself, and cannot do anything right. Finding something always wrong in yourself will not help boost your confidence but bring you down. Instead of negative self-talk, speak of your favorite qualities such as being nice to everyone, being approachable, funny, sincere, etc. It may help you to write them down on sticky notes and posting them on your mirror, desk, refrigerator, or anywhere else you can find them.

Focus on what you can control to help you feel less insecure. If you are around a bunch of friends who are always criticizing your clothes, speech, job, or behavior on a daily basis, ask yourself if these people are worth keeping around. Find people who will always make you feel great about yourself and will raise you up when you are feeling down. It may be possible that you, yourself, have made others feel bad about themselves to make yourself feel good. That will not help your insecurity and will only make you appear as cruel to your peers. You should instead being commending others for their accomplishments just like what you wish others would do for you.

Most importantly, stop comparing yourself to other people. There is only one of you and everyone accomplishes something in their own time. Insecurity will lead you to a depression where you are too busy watching others be happy because you will not allow yourself to be. Remember that you can have moments when you are afraid that things will work out for you but do not allow it to stop yourself from accomplishing anything.

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